Boundaries & Why They Matter

Boundaries can be super difficult…both in how others respond to them and the way in which they make you feel about yourself. They also are multifaceted; you must first create them, at times communicate them to others, and then maintain them…especially when people push them, attempt to move them, or ignore them entirely. However, they can be instrumental to your growth as well as to your wellbeing and emotional, physical, and mental safety.

This can be even more impactful and necessary if you are neurodivergent and have different thresholds, capacities, and sensitivities. It also may be more difficult for you to set and maintain boundaries due to masking, camouflaging, and societal expectations relative to the norm. However, it is inherently more important for you to have boundaries…they help delay or avoid overwhelm, minimize sensory and relational impact, and may allow you the extra time needed to process, adjust, and interact with others. Setting boundaries that are in alignment to your value system and help you function in the external environment are non-negotiable and deeply rooted to you being able to thrive. 

It can be important to be aware that people in your life may have difficulty with the boundaries you set, based on what they assume that means about them or about the relationship with you. Having and keeping boundaries may be that you stop behaviors in service of others in the same way that a customer service rep’s job description reads. When we are so externally focused on the happiness and contentedness of everyone around us, often we can fail to see what we need and forego those needs. That’s exactly when overwhelm, burnout, and exhaustion begin to seep in. Take a look at your boundaries and ask yourself if they are working for or against you.

It takes practice, a lot of reflection and understanding yourself to keep them in place. If you are just starting out with boundaries and creating ones that help to keep you safe, healthy, content, and working toward your goals.  Bottom line…be kind to yourself as you learn what boundaries you need and how to keep them.