Failure & How we use it

Failure doesn’t have to mean the ultimate end and lead to self-doubt and shame. It does,  however, show up this way for a lot of people, especially neurodivergent individuals when self-ableism is present. Removing failure all together often does not mean that more success is present and can even take away from success, learning, and adaptation in the long run. The trick is learning from failure, seeking out what underlying feelings perpetuate any negative self-talk that arises from it, and then figuring out how to use in alignment to and with your goals.  

Three things you can consider:

·      Failure is something we as humans often think about and fear of failure can keep you from living your life, pursuing your goals, and even learning new skills. Failure, when seen as a guide, can actually improve success. Not only does it teach you your next steps, but it can also create intelligent resiliency that aids in emotional regulation and the ability to maintain perseverant pursuit of your dreams. As long as you don’t let failure define you as a human being, using it as a guide can perpetuate the success that comes next. 

·      Sometimes failure turns into an adaptation. We can tend to overanalyze the impact of failure instead of putting an appropriate counter-response into action. Find the adaptation over the failure, and you may just see something you were missing. 

·      Self-ableism can exist in those who are neurodivergent as a product of working in, living among, and existing in a culture that is neurotypical and geared towards norms of that population. When failure creeps in, this can coincide with self-ableism and lead to self-doubt and shame which continues to cycle in an increase in masking and camouflaging as well as negative self-talk. If you are neurodivergent, it’s important to consider what aspects you are measuring yourself against, towards, and to take a look at what failure actually means specific to you. 

Bottom line…failure doesn’t have to mean more than the information it gives you, especially if you choose to use that information in a meaningful way.